i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
