come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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