Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Can I color on your dick again?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
