He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize