So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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