she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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