once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
