So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
