yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
