I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
