I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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