I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
