come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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