i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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