I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
