This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
