Do you still have your period?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
