There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
