are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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