Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
