i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
