i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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