I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
