never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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