my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
