ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize