I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
