Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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