he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
