I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We just shotgunned beers for America
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize