How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize