I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
