guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
