well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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