I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My dick has a subreddit
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
