I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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