if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
