I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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