the day after is always just damage control
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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