i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
