As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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