I just made out with a guy for $7.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
