Just fell off a train. Bad.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize