in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
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