Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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