brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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