It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
