I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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