I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
