As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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