we're blogging at a bar
Porn is love you can see.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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