you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I wear drunk well.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
