I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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