i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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