maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
