Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
