Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
