she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
