420 ftw
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
