Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
