yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
