Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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